Sep 11Liked by Pavini Moray, Robin Taylor (he/him)
I've just spent two days with my trans daughter, together with my husband (her stepfather) -- we browsed art at the Tate, ate food, spent a lot of time in bookshops :) So wonderful as we only get to see each other once or twice a year. But oh -- the unnecessary rubbish she has to navigate every day just for existing! So many good people out there but way too many who are dumping their own fears, prejudices, hang-ups, projections, garbage... And it is absolutely unacceptable. There are NOT two sides to 'the argument' of whether trans folk should exist! You are here. Thank you for being here. Thank you for enriching the world.
Sep 12Liked by Pavini Moray, Robin Taylor (he/him)
So lovely to be together. I’m sorry she is dealing with all that. It’s so heard. My daughter is hopefully going away next year. I don’t know how that will be.
We are here. You're right. Those words are so important. I've been thinking about them and holding them tight for several days after I read your comment, and they've pulled me through some of my own difficult moments. Thank you for being here as part of this--you are part of that "we," and you enrich the world with your love.
Sep 15Liked by Pavini Moray, Robin Taylor (he/him)
The brought tears to my eyes. As a nonbinary person who presents as a woman, I often feel erased— in public, in discourse; in most places. But I felt visible here, in your words, and I'm grateful for having read this so I can remember that I belong to such a loving community.
Oh yes, that erasure is terribly painful, and it feels nearly impossible to bear alone! In the last few months of writing here and communing with fellow creators I have seen so much love and support, and we all deserve to feel that. This community is bright with love. Let's celebrate it together.
Sep 14Liked by Pavini Moray, Robin Taylor (he/him)
I think this is a lovely aspiration, and I genuinely hope it comes to fruition. However, as a transfemme person, I have been burned a lot of times by spaces that purported to be refuges, but weren't. They were refuges for other queer and trans folx, but not for folx like me.
Liz, I also know that experience. The damage we can inflict on each other hurts worse, imo. I think you speak to a deep truth: we don’t really know how to make inclusive spaces, even as we need them so desperately. It makes sense because it’s never been modeled for us, but still it is a skill set we need to build. We need to be able to articulate our own needs as well as hear the needs of others. And under that we need a core value that everyone has a profound need to belong. We can’t meet our belonging needs at the cost of one another. I have so many thoughts on this topic.
Sep 13Liked by Pavini Moray, Robin Taylor (he/him)
I am befuddled by the idea that any human being "should not exist" - how can that actually be? We exist - it is part of the whole being alive gig - and how can you tell another person how they experience themselves? utterly bonkers - do no harm and then be you - sometimes it is just that simple - and you dont need me to welcome you because you already are welcome. I welcome myself too - never could understand the whole binary concept - spent most of my life up to now not understanding why I did not conform. When I was growing up in the days before electricity there was gay, straight and if you were really Avant guard - bisexual. Like the three TV channels we had in the UK. I see no reason why I have to choose and stick to one thing at all - some do, others don't = and?
I can be many things at one time, some parts play nicely with the other children, other parts I have yet to meet, some parts have left, more will arrive, other parts are ambivalent and there is friction and disagreements, often contradictory. I do that all by myself - how about that for multitasking? I strongly suspect we all do this to varying degrees. What is true within is mirrored in the outside world between us humans bustling around and on our amazing floating home. There are over 7 billion people on the planet - there will be differences.
My plea to us all - no more name calling, abuse, simple derogatory slang, an either with us or against mentality - so binary??? - it achieves nothing, it demeans us all and our inherent equal value and worth - we all lose, life and love the first casualties. Let's focus on the fact we all want to be the best version of ourselves without fear or favour.
Lucy, you are always such a warm hug of words! Thank you for being here and sharing so much kindness and love. This community is better with you in it.
I love these words, Lucy, especially this: "There are over 7 billion people on the planet - there will be differences." I imagine a stern school teacher shaking a finger at me, hoping I internalize the message, and me having a crush on them while they do it. Yes, there are so many differences. Why not live and let live?
Sep 11Liked by Pavini Moray, Robin Taylor (he/him)
Reading this as I hear someone in my gender studies class talk about "assigned sex males at birth" like ugh it's everywhere. Love u 4 what u do. What u write. What u uncover and glow.
I've just spent two days with my trans daughter, together with my husband (her stepfather) -- we browsed art at the Tate, ate food, spent a lot of time in bookshops :) So wonderful as we only get to see each other once or twice a year. But oh -- the unnecessary rubbish she has to navigate every day just for existing! So many good people out there but way too many who are dumping their own fears, prejudices, hang-ups, projections, garbage... And it is absolutely unacceptable. There are NOT two sides to 'the argument' of whether trans folk should exist! You are here. Thank you for being here. Thank you for enriching the world.
So lovely to be together. I’m sorry she is dealing with all that. It’s so heard. My daughter is hopefully going away next year. I don’t know how that will be.
We are here. You're right. Those words are so important. I've been thinking about them and holding them tight for several days after I read your comment, and they've pulled me through some of my own difficult moments. Thank you for being here as part of this--you are part of that "we," and you enrich the world with your love.
The brought tears to my eyes. As a nonbinary person who presents as a woman, I often feel erased— in public, in discourse; in most places. But I felt visible here, in your words, and I'm grateful for having read this so I can remember that I belong to such a loving community.
I see you, River. I am also nb, and it is rarely seen. We belong with each other.
Oh yes, that erasure is terribly painful, and it feels nearly impossible to bear alone! In the last few months of writing here and communing with fellow creators I have seen so much love and support, and we all deserve to feel that. This community is bright with love. Let's celebrate it together.
I think this is a lovely aspiration, and I genuinely hope it comes to fruition. However, as a transfemme person, I have been burned a lot of times by spaces that purported to be refuges, but weren't. They were refuges for other queer and trans folx, but not for folx like me.
Liz, I also know that experience. The damage we can inflict on each other hurts worse, imo. I think you speak to a deep truth: we don’t really know how to make inclusive spaces, even as we need them so desperately. It makes sense because it’s never been modeled for us, but still it is a skill set we need to build. We need to be able to articulate our own needs as well as hear the needs of others. And under that we need a core value that everyone has a profound need to belong. We can’t meet our belonging needs at the cost of one another. I have so many thoughts on this topic.
I know that pain, too. If it's meaningful to you, I want this space to feel welcoming and safe for you, just because you're you. That's enough.
I am befuddled by the idea that any human being "should not exist" - how can that actually be? We exist - it is part of the whole being alive gig - and how can you tell another person how they experience themselves? utterly bonkers - do no harm and then be you - sometimes it is just that simple - and you dont need me to welcome you because you already are welcome. I welcome myself too - never could understand the whole binary concept - spent most of my life up to now not understanding why I did not conform. When I was growing up in the days before electricity there was gay, straight and if you were really Avant guard - bisexual. Like the three TV channels we had in the UK. I see no reason why I have to choose and stick to one thing at all - some do, others don't = and?
I can be many things at one time, some parts play nicely with the other children, other parts I have yet to meet, some parts have left, more will arrive, other parts are ambivalent and there is friction and disagreements, often contradictory. I do that all by myself - how about that for multitasking? I strongly suspect we all do this to varying degrees. What is true within is mirrored in the outside world between us humans bustling around and on our amazing floating home. There are over 7 billion people on the planet - there will be differences.
My plea to us all - no more name calling, abuse, simple derogatory slang, an either with us or against mentality - so binary??? - it achieves nothing, it demeans us all and our inherent equal value and worth - we all lose, life and love the first casualties. Let's focus on the fact we all want to be the best version of ourselves without fear or favour.
Lucy, you are always such a warm hug of words! Thank you for being here and sharing so much kindness and love. This community is better with you in it.
Such a generous response thanking you more!
I love these words, Lucy, especially this: "There are over 7 billion people on the planet - there will be differences." I imagine a stern school teacher shaking a finger at me, hoping I internalize the message, and me having a crush on them while they do it. Yes, there are so many differences. Why not live and let live?
🔥✊🏻💜
Reading this as I hear someone in my gender studies class talk about "assigned sex males at birth" like ugh it's everywhere. Love u 4 what u do. What u write. What u uncover and glow.
Alukah, I love you back. Just roll your eyes at that gender studies class and then come back here to fill your cup.
right like baby open a book,
i’m there. 💗
💜