Trans love is for you
a collaboration for the whole community
To all of my transfriends out there, and to the friends I have yet to meet, welcome. If you don’t already know
from , I hope this collaboration opens the door for you to explore their beautiful community. Our collaboration will reside in several parts—some here, some on Glitter Joyride—so be sure to keep your eyes on both spaces for the full conversation.Our voices matter.
How does it feel to face the relentless onslaught of anti-trans news articles? Maybe you thought you’d just watch the Olympics, and everything else could fade away for a little while, only that wasn’t an escape either, was it. I tried the same thing. I picked out a harmless post about vegan diets for athletes (not because I wasn’t eating a bacon sandwich right in that very moment), and—lo and behold—the first half of it contained TERFy anti-trans garbage that completely ruined my appetite (and my day).
It happened again. An innocuous post about joy and celebration became the perfect host location for a “both sides” argument in the comments about whether or not someone like me—a transgender queer human—should exist. That felt like a signal from the universe to “put the phone down” and focus on something else.
But I am so tired.
I am tired down to my bones and tendons. My sleep is interrupted with disquiet, with the familiarity of stress over a lack of belonging in my world. My dreams are tainted.
I wonder… Are you tired, too?
We hold so much, those of us in this little queer, genderdefiant community. We shout our joy into the world so that it becomes tangible for our siblings who need to feel it. We hold ourselves tall and unwavering in our dedication to one another. We persist in spite of the cultural pressures to be erased. We keep moving in the face of toxicity, hatred, indifference, and shame. We call out the names of brothers, sisters, siblings, and children who have been lost to this fight, this need to survive, this want to be freely beautiful as ourselves.
We should be tired.
What would it look like to create a restful space together? How can we come together at this time of great need and feed ourselves from the resilience and light within us? I don’t have the answers to these questions, but perhaps we can find them together.
Together is the start.
Pavini and I had this conversation not long ago, and we considered what it would look like to offer a safe space of support to this beautiful community we call home. But let’s get real—this isn’t the sort of thing even two people can really accomplish on their own, and even we need some rest and recovery. So we started by dreaming out loud a little, and by framing up the walls of some ideas that felt good. We’re here to show you what we’ve built, and now it’s up to you to step in and add dimension, context, color, life, and your own dose of creativity.
We invite you to feel your way around these walls, to sit on a bench and breathe the fresh air in a place where you are welcome to be you in a restful way. When you’re ready, please add your thoughts, feelings, or stories. Somewhere out there is a sibling or transcestor who also needs you right now. Your words are the kindness Pavini and I need, too.
Use the headers shown below to tell us where your comment would be best included. We will revise this post with your comment embedded under the chosen heading (see our comments as examples). Together we will build something bigger, brighter, and more resilient than any of us can do alone.
Pavini and I have started each section with our own contributions. These might give you a starting point for your own thoughts, or you might have something completely different to say. We want to hear you. Please note that there are no barriers to this space—there is only the expectation of safety for one another. Anyone may participate, and all are welcome and invited to share.
Your trans friend,
Robin
Trans people love you
We have always loved you. Many of us came from you, were born through you, grew up with you, trusted you. We know ourselves because we knew you first, and we see ourselves reflected in you.
We want to be your allies. We want to be intersectional in our liberation work. But we will not tolerate abuse.
Trans people love ourselves
There is no greater act of self-love than to be ourselves for ourselves, which is precisely what our collective becoming embodies.
No one is coming to save us. It's us, for us.
Trans love is beautiful
It is the first kind of self-love I have known, and I want to shout it from the top of the world!
Trans people are sacred
Across time, trans and gender creative people have always existed. In every culture, every religion, every place on Earth. We are a holy part of creation, often tasked with ritual roles of ceremony, of weaving the sacred in community.
My partner who is also trans recently asked, "I don't understand, why do they pick on the trans people?" But I understand. Outside of norms of society such as gender roles and gender assigned at birth is an immense freedom. We are powerful beyond measure, and oppressors know that intuitively. Control the freest people to have control over society. Oh, that and that we aren't always doing our procreation job in capitalism. (But some of us are!)
The magical space of gender liminality produces a human who cannot be easily controlled, but beyond that, trans people often have a deep connection with the holy mystery.
Trans love is for you
This beautiful trans love of mine is too big, too powerful, too important not to give it to you. Will you welcome it?
Trans labor ain't free
My love may be vast, but I am not inexhaustible. And I am worthy of the time and energy my body and my spirit provide, but that worth is mine to spend where I see fit. It is such a kindness in this world when my cis friends and family engage in their own labor or learning and doing better without asking me to lift that burden or make it lighter for them.
 | A guest post by
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I've just spent two days with my trans daughter, together with my husband (her stepfather) -- we browsed art at the Tate, ate food, spent a lot of time in bookshops :) So wonderful as we only get to see each other once or twice a year. But oh -- the unnecessary rubbish she has to navigate every day just for existing! So many good people out there but way too many who are dumping their own fears, prejudices, hang-ups, projections, garbage... And it is absolutely unacceptable. There are NOT two sides to 'the argument' of whether trans folk should exist! You are here. Thank you for being here. Thank you for enriching the world.
The brought tears to my eyes. As a nonbinary person who presents as a woman, I often feel erased— in public, in discourse; in most places. But I felt visible here, in your words, and I'm grateful for having read this so I can remember that I belong to such a loving community.