Robin, perhaps Lucky was out having happy adventures in the world at a time when you couldn’t and now shares them with you when you’re asleep and dreaming.
Aww, this was such a nice story to read! Many decades years ago, I lost my stuffed panda at the hospital during a stay. He surely would not have walked off by himself, but FWIW, the staff said they looked everywhere. Wherever he ended up, hopefully his life was full of hugs. Oddly enough, the first gift after my older one was born, was a small stuffed Beanie panda. Signs of an almost full circle?
Something you wrote resonates so powerfully for me: “…and oddly creative about the inner lives of inanimate objects. Think Velveteen Rabbit or Toy Story concepts… where a kid intuitively knows that their toys experience very real lives.” I ALWAYS felt (and feel) that way, but no one else I grew up with understood. My younger brother is autistic and as a child he would flap his hands when something became too overwhelming or unbearable—a loud noise, a sudden interruption… When I was 21, I knew I had met my best friend/ soul mate when she, too, understood the idea that inanimate objects have feelings. “Some things make me flap,” I told her. “Yes!” she agreed. We now talk about things that put us in “the flap zone” like the part of your story where you lost Lucky. I’m So glad you live with Lucky again! Your story pierced my heart.
This was so heartbreaking and heart healing to read and so gorgeously written. Thank you for sharing yourself. Also, I’m delighted that my state offered up something so timely and beautiful! It almost makes up for Mitch McConnell.
Where you by Paducah or Henderson, or somewhere really tiny? I personally was obsessed with Strawberry Shortcake. My favorites were Orange Blossom and Huckleberry Pie, because they smelled the best and had the most aesthetically pleasing (to me at 6) outfits and hair.
I had the entire Strawberry Shortcake posable doll collection including "Purple Pie Man," who had the most enviable long purple mustache I have ever known.
I wanted the giant strawberry thing (I can't remember what it actually was now, a house? A car? All I remember was that it was large and a strawberry and I didn't have it. They all smelled so amazing although I have to assume now the fragrance was probably made out of some unspeakably unhealthy process done to the worst kind of plastics that children really shouldn't have anywhere near their bodies. Was Purple Pie man the bad guy? Mustaches were often used to signify ill-intent in the 80’s. Which is weird because the 80’s were also the last time I remember many other men IRL wearing mustaches. My father included.
I DO remember! Sea creatures with a kind of antenna on top of their heads? I lived with someone who told me they creeped her out but I still don't understand why. Do you remember Small Wonder? For years I couldn't find anyone else that did. I'm actually married to the first person that also remembered Small Wonder that I met as an adult.
I still have, and sleep with, a rabbit stuffie from my childhood (name of Rabbit, obvs 😆) and I had a visceral lurch as I read this because I knew you were going to lose Lucky. I can’t even. I’m SO glad you found him again...for all that represents.
I’m so glad you and Lucky found each other again. I am sharing my wife’s current journey of setting boundaries with her toxic mother. A situation fraught with raw feelings, betrayal and the painful witness of vitriolic, vile rants. I can readily feel how Lucky is representative of trust, unconditional love and simple innocence. Beautiful timely story, friend.
So glad this story found a home with you, too. These moments can be so hard on us. Sometimes the small joys are the things that pull us through. Send your wife my love. I'll be thinking of her.
There can be a deep love between children and their objects, often well beyond an adult's capacity to understand. The Universe brought Lucky back to you, and maybe a bit of healing childhood magic, too.
Sunday morning cartoon lineup: CareBears, Smurfs, Snorks. ... or maybe it was Gummie Bears?
As someone who also does not engage with their mother out of necessity, and feels the conflict of immense relief and deep sadness that comes from that decision, this sentence hit me hard: “When children grow up around the isolation of a parent facing mental illness they are often required to build their own worlds to explore, to engage with, and to find comfort within.” I’m grateful for the imagination it gave me, but I wish it never had to be that hard.
Hugs for you, Bryn. It feels easier to be open about these things with others in the world who understand the conflict AND the relief. I wish we had both grown up with better support, but maybe this is why we care so much about making the world a kinder place now.
Oh my goodness the cast of your show had mixed luck! Interestingly it looks most of the male cast has three word names, but everyone I've looked up so far beyond Courtney Cox has died young. Is this a cursed production, like Poltergeist ?
I had no idea how many children Dean Martin had until I fell into a rabbit hole searching the history of your show. And obviously these are just the kids he owned up to.
It didn't involve hate or dead children so I'm going to take it as a win. It's necessary to pay attention and bear witness but sometimes it's also necessary to just gaze in wonderment at how much banging Dean Martin did.
I had a stuffed Teddy bear from a relative for my first birthday that had no eyes because back in the day you could pull the eyes out and they were sharp and pointed at the end so mom took them out. Made no difference to me. I loved that bear forever and kept him for my own children. They loved him too. Finally, all the love was too much and Teddy fell apart. (One of the best things about him was he had a little box inside that when you tapped it, he gave a little growl).
My kids, now adults still love stuffed animals. I have one a friend had made for me that looks like my dog.
My heart is squished over this story, Robin. 🥲Thankfully, I still have Theodore T. Bear in a ziploc bag somewhere - he was the recipient of many a midnight confession of fears and troubles.
Robin, perhaps Lucky was out having happy adventures in the world at a time when you couldn’t and now shares them with you when you’re asleep and dreaming.
That's such a a beautiful thought. Thank you. I'm choosing to believe you're right.
This brought tears to my eyes, Robin. Take care of yourself, and Lucky too.
Aww, this was such a nice story to read! Many decades years ago, I lost my stuffed panda at the hospital during a stay. He surely would not have walked off by himself, but FWIW, the staff said they looked everywhere. Wherever he ended up, hopefully his life was full of hugs. Oddly enough, the first gift after my older one was born, was a small stuffed Beanie panda. Signs of an almost full circle?
That’s panda-universe energy for real, no question about it. My oldest has had multiple panda stuffed friends since he was a tiny baby.
Something you wrote resonates so powerfully for me: “…and oddly creative about the inner lives of inanimate objects. Think Velveteen Rabbit or Toy Story concepts… where a kid intuitively knows that their toys experience very real lives.” I ALWAYS felt (and feel) that way, but no one else I grew up with understood. My younger brother is autistic and as a child he would flap his hands when something became too overwhelming or unbearable—a loud noise, a sudden interruption… When I was 21, I knew I had met my best friend/ soul mate when she, too, understood the idea that inanimate objects have feelings. “Some things make me flap,” I told her. “Yes!” she agreed. We now talk about things that put us in “the flap zone” like the part of your story where you lost Lucky. I’m So glad you live with Lucky again! Your story pierced my heart.
I love "the flap zone" concept! So relatable.
And you and I both know those stuffies really were (and are) alive in their own ways.
What a wonderful moment to find Lucky in that restaurant in KY! Talk about serendipity.
It was surreal.
This was so heartbreaking and heart healing to read and so gorgeously written. Thank you for sharing yourself. Also, I’m delighted that my state offered up something so timely and beautiful! It almost makes up for Mitch McConnell.
Hell, I’d never judge you by Mitch. I’d rather appreciate kind people for being exactly what they are.
Where you by Paducah or Henderson, or somewhere really tiny? I personally was obsessed with Strawberry Shortcake. My favorites were Orange Blossom and Huckleberry Pie, because they smelled the best and had the most aesthetically pleasing (to me at 6) outfits and hair.
I had the entire Strawberry Shortcake posable doll collection including "Purple Pie Man," who had the most enviable long purple mustache I have ever known.
I wanted the giant strawberry thing (I can't remember what it actually was now, a house? A car? All I remember was that it was large and a strawberry and I didn't have it. They all smelled so amazing although I have to assume now the fragrance was probably made out of some unspeakably unhealthy process done to the worst kind of plastics that children really shouldn't have anywhere near their bodies. Was Purple Pie man the bad guy? Mustaches were often used to signify ill-intent in the 80’s. Which is weird because the 80’s were also the last time I remember many other men IRL wearing mustaches. My father included.
Yep, he was the bad guy.
I remember the giant strawberry car thing too. Was it a car? I also wanted it and didn't have it.
And I'm sure the scents in those dolls were courtesy of Monsanto or something. We're all saturated in roundup now.
I was just reading my comment and I was like "Oh look Rach, another ADD journey you've taken strangers along on!" Sorry!
Are you apologizing for starting a fun convo? Because I loved that. Bring it.
Next topic, Snorks. Look them up if you don't remember.
I DO remember! Sea creatures with a kind of antenna on top of their heads? I lived with someone who told me they creeped her out but I still don't understand why. Do you remember Small Wonder? For years I couldn't find anyone else that did. I'm actually married to the first person that also remembered Small Wonder that I met as an adult.
I still have, and sleep with, a rabbit stuffie from my childhood (name of Rabbit, obvs 😆) and I had a visceral lurch as I read this because I knew you were going to lose Lucky. I can’t even. I’m SO glad you found him again...for all that represents.
Well I'm sorry about the shared trauma of losing Lucky. But yes, a happy ending does help a bit. Say hello to Rabbit for us!
I’m so glad you and Lucky found each other again. I am sharing my wife’s current journey of setting boundaries with her toxic mother. A situation fraught with raw feelings, betrayal and the painful witness of vitriolic, vile rants. I can readily feel how Lucky is representative of trust, unconditional love and simple innocence. Beautiful timely story, friend.
So glad this story found a home with you, too. These moments can be so hard on us. Sometimes the small joys are the things that pull us through. Send your wife my love. I'll be thinking of her.
Feeling so many things reading this. Thank you for your writing! 💝🌈
Thank you for sharing this story.
There can be a deep love between children and their objects, often well beyond an adult's capacity to understand. The Universe brought Lucky back to you, and maybe a bit of healing childhood magic, too.
Sunday morning cartoon lineup: CareBears, Smurfs, Snorks. ... or maybe it was Gummie Bears?
Definitely Smurfs and Gummie Bears, Snorks, and do you remember the Wuzzles? Omg and Dungeons and Dragons. Now THAT was a great cartoon.
Beautiful story, thank you for sharing. Lucky is such a perfect name!!
As someone who also does not engage with their mother out of necessity, and feels the conflict of immense relief and deep sadness that comes from that decision, this sentence hit me hard: “When children grow up around the isolation of a parent facing mental illness they are often required to build their own worlds to explore, to engage with, and to find comfort within.” I’m grateful for the imagination it gave me, but I wish it never had to be that hard.
I’m so glad Lucky found you again 💚
Hugs for you, Bryn. It feels easier to be open about these things with others in the world who understand the conflict AND the relief. I wish we had both grown up with better support, but maybe this is why we care so much about making the world a kinder place now.
Oh my goodness the cast of your show had mixed luck! Interestingly it looks most of the male cast has three word names, but everyone I've looked up so far beyond Courtney Cox has died young. Is this a cursed production, like Poltergeist ?
It has to be something like that. As a kid, though, I knew that there was a place for me because of that show.
Either that or Manimal.
I had no idea how many children Dean Martin had until I fell into a rabbit hole searching the history of your show. And obviously these are just the kids he owned up to.
Was it a rewarding rabbit hole? Or do I owe you a drink now?
It didn't involve hate or dead children so I'm going to take it as a win. It's necessary to pay attention and bear witness but sometimes it's also necessary to just gaze in wonderment at how much banging Dean Martin did.
I had a stuffed Teddy bear from a relative for my first birthday that had no eyes because back in the day you could pull the eyes out and they were sharp and pointed at the end so mom took them out. Made no difference to me. I loved that bear forever and kept him for my own children. They loved him too. Finally, all the love was too much and Teddy fell apart. (One of the best things about him was he had a little box inside that when you tapped it, he gave a little growl).
My kids, now adults still love stuffed animals. I have one a friend had made for me that looks like my dog.
It’s so amazing how we can pass on the loved of stuffed things to our children. I’ve done the same.
My heart is squished over this story, Robin. 🥲Thankfully, I still have Theodore T. Bear in a ziploc bag somewhere - he was the recipient of many a midnight confession of fears and troubles.
I wonder what Ted would tell you now? I bet he's got some great stories.
hehe Well, like me, he's lived on 3 different continents and 20% of his life outside of the U.S. so probably... xo