I'm a bit less up to speed on question number one but, as you know, question number two started out as very broad.
Another aspect that most trans people would likely recognize is that the answer to what you desire as part of your "transition" can be incredibly fluid. For a host of reasons, something (surgical or otherwise) that you once might have thought you never would have wanted can become something that is critical to your identity.
The process for me has been more of an evolution and revelation than a transition. A transition feels like something with a beginning and an end. Personally, I couldn't have ever guessed that my transition would take me to some of the places it has taken me, that I'd meet and connect with some really incredible people and that over time I'd develop the strength to handle it all. I never want to stop exploring whom I really am and the full richness of life again.
I'm often asked if I could do my life over, would I want to come back as trans? Unequivocally and emphatically YES! Next time, I'll make sure that I get off my frightened, nervous butt and start enjoying my life 40-50 years sooner than I did this time around!
I love this answer, Shayne! And I feel the same. I would definitely love to have a bit of an earlier do-over for my transition, but I'm also very much in love with doing this in my forties. It's been the right kind of growth at the right time in my life, and every day feels better and better.
How and why we transition is maybe a bit like our gender.... it's not nearly as fixed as people think in the beginning, and it can grow and shift over time, too. And when someone asks if I've had "the surgery," I often respond, "Well no, my tonsils are fine, so I'm keeping them."
So relieved to learn that your tonsils are doing well!
I do find that some cis friends just can't imagine my being glad that I'm trans. It's just so much more than I suspect that they can imagine.
And that's exactly why I love being trans. Sure, at times it's not easy and the world has far too many judgmental people but concerning my day to day, those things are just a fraction of my experience.
Shayne, I love that you're trans, too!! And really, I think being trans is downright epic. Sometimes you hear someone say that their gender is the least interesting part of who they are, and I disagree. It's fascinating! Tell me more! Let's talk gender, baby!!
When my transman family member decided to transition, they gave me literature to read plus I found sites that answered my many questions. I also started following a few transmen folk on Instagram (like pink mantaray). I’m no longer on Instagram but am happy to have found you, Robin, here on Substack.
Bless you for taking the initiative to search out information on your own. Partners who are willing to do that are so deeply appreciated. It's also a pretty good indicator that both partners are going to weather the "transition."
I once did an interview with someone who asked me what it would look like to be in an environment where I was completely relaxed, knew I was safe, and could freely be myself. I blurted out "it would be a room of all trans people" before I even had time to think about my response, and then I instantly felt guilty since the interviewer was cis. I even apologized for my outburst.
I guess I kind of did open that door. Is it okay if I take a day or two to make sure that I'm happy with my response? I'm probably also going to run it past the Trans Board of Directors just to get their approval.
Lastly, I'm going to need to rely upon the same caveat that Robin used, I can only speak for myself, a 62 yo trans woman.
haha Oh no! Not the answer I was expecting to my dandelion question, Robin! 🤣 I don't know nuthin' 'bout eating dandelions, but I did read that in addition to wishes (as if that's not enough!) they are apparently very good for the soil: they break up topsoil, and create pathways for oxygenation, and for worms, beneficial bacteria and other insects to dive deep. In the Garden of My Imagination, there's a whole field of dandelions, and we all gather to make wishes, drink tea, and sing songs composed for the banjo. 😘 (Also, the comments on transitioning are so wonderful to read. 🩵🩷🤍)
Okay, so dandelion roots are incredibly strong and capable things. They'll easily break up compacted clay soils. Problem is, the flower heads themselves are actually composite florets, a massive collection of prolific seed producers in one headed bunch. And those amazing roots are also capable of regenerating a whole plant even if just a tiny bit is left behind when you're weeding the garden. So your typical gardening manual will tell you to get rid of them as best you can.
When it comes to "weeds" in any space, I think it's more helpful to decolonize our perspective and think about what our place in the garden is. Are we there to make it all look uniform and "clean"? Why do we call some plants weeds anyway? Chickweed is edible and really good for you in the spring. Buttercup can colonize the worst of compacted clay soils. Miner's lettuce is a weed, also edible, chock full of nutrients. And all of these are excellent forage for pollinators, who we need in our gardens to help us grow our own food.
My garden is a safe haven for plenty of weeds, dandelions included. I try to keep them out of the onions and beans, but I also raise plants that can fend for themselves. Who am I to say who belongs and who does not? Just no bunnies, please. They are so greedy!
Okay, here's a micro-story for you. The bunnies kept eating the peas before they could get bigger than an inch or two, so I built a fence. Then they got around the fence, so I fortified it. Then somebunny got inside and had a litter of baby bunnies, and the peas got eaten even more. So the kids helped herd the babies out. And we fortified the fence AGAIN. And then there was still one inside eating stuff, and he accidentally got himself trapped in the greenhouse. So I went in with a big empty pot, gathered him up, and we escorted him down the road to the neighbor's yard.
I am not Farmer MacGregor. I am all talk. And I save the bunbuns when I can.
Dandelions are liver trophorestoratives -- they have a massive beneficial relationship with liver and digestive functions. When bears wake after hibernation the first they do is forage for dandelions to clear their systems and get everything working again. I'm a herbalist and have never even heard of buying the seeds -- wild ones are just fine. A question that often arises when I'm working with someone who would benefit from dandelion is -- how are you digesting your life? Dandelions work physically but also on our emotional/psychological digestion -- they are supportive allies for change, for helping us out of stagnant, stuck phases. I think that makes them great trans allies along with so many herbs which are so much about the many transformative journeys we make in life. I would absolutely recommend dandelion to anyone who is transitioning (and have to my trans daughter) but don't go buying them -- they're free.
I'm a bit less up to speed on question number one but, as you know, question number two started out as very broad.
Another aspect that most trans people would likely recognize is that the answer to what you desire as part of your "transition" can be incredibly fluid. For a host of reasons, something (surgical or otherwise) that you once might have thought you never would have wanted can become something that is critical to your identity.
The process for me has been more of an evolution and revelation than a transition. A transition feels like something with a beginning and an end. Personally, I couldn't have ever guessed that my transition would take me to some of the places it has taken me, that I'd meet and connect with some really incredible people and that over time I'd develop the strength to handle it all. I never want to stop exploring whom I really am and the full richness of life again.
I'm often asked if I could do my life over, would I want to come back as trans? Unequivocally and emphatically YES! Next time, I'll make sure that I get off my frightened, nervous butt and start enjoying my life 40-50 years sooner than I did this time around!
I love this answer, Shayne! And I feel the same. I would definitely love to have a bit of an earlier do-over for my transition, but I'm also very much in love with doing this in my forties. It's been the right kind of growth at the right time in my life, and every day feels better and better.
How and why we transition is maybe a bit like our gender.... it's not nearly as fixed as people think in the beginning, and it can grow and shift over time, too. And when someone asks if I've had "the surgery," I often respond, "Well no, my tonsils are fine, so I'm keeping them."
Good one Robin. Zing!
So relieved to learn that your tonsils are doing well!
I do find that some cis friends just can't imagine my being glad that I'm trans. It's just so much more than I suspect that they can imagine.
And that's exactly why I love being trans. Sure, at times it's not easy and the world has far too many judgmental people but concerning my day to day, those things are just a fraction of my experience.
Shayne, I love that you're trans, too!! And really, I think being trans is downright epic. Sometimes you hear someone say that their gender is the least interesting part of who they are, and I disagree. It's fascinating! Tell me more! Let's talk gender, baby!!
It's good to hear that you are the person you were meant to be Shayne. As for the haters, fuck 'em.
Well said!!!
When my transman family member decided to transition, they gave me literature to read plus I found sites that answered my many questions. I also started following a few transmen folk on Instagram (like pink mantaray). I’m no longer on Instagram but am happy to have found you, Robin, here on Substack.
Bless you for taking the initiative to search out information on your own. Partners who are willing to do that are so deeply appreciated. It's also a pretty good indicator that both partners are going to weather the "transition."
I have a close friend that did this study for her dissertation.
I kinda can't believe that know one has asked "how do trans people talk about cis people when they aren't around?"
Were I cis, that so would have been my first question!
Oh yeah, that would be a great question to ask!
I once did an interview with someone who asked me what it would look like to be in an environment where I was completely relaxed, knew I was safe, and could freely be myself. I blurted out "it would be a room of all trans people" before I even had time to think about my response, and then I instantly felt guilty since the interviewer was cis. I even apologized for my outburst.
Now that you have opened that door Shayne, maybe you could answer the question for me. I'm curious to know. Thanks.
I guess I kind of did open that door. Is it okay if I take a day or two to make sure that I'm happy with my response? I'm probably also going to run it past the Trans Board of Directors just to get their approval.
Lastly, I'm going to need to rely upon the same caveat that Robin used, I can only speak for myself, a 62 yo trans woman.
haha Oh no! Not the answer I was expecting to my dandelion question, Robin! 🤣 I don't know nuthin' 'bout eating dandelions, but I did read that in addition to wishes (as if that's not enough!) they are apparently very good for the soil: they break up topsoil, and create pathways for oxygenation, and for worms, beneficial bacteria and other insects to dive deep. In the Garden of My Imagination, there's a whole field of dandelions, and we all gather to make wishes, drink tea, and sing songs composed for the banjo. 😘 (Also, the comments on transitioning are so wonderful to read. 🩵🩷🤍)
Okay, so dandelion roots are incredibly strong and capable things. They'll easily break up compacted clay soils. Problem is, the flower heads themselves are actually composite florets, a massive collection of prolific seed producers in one headed bunch. And those amazing roots are also capable of regenerating a whole plant even if just a tiny bit is left behind when you're weeding the garden. So your typical gardening manual will tell you to get rid of them as best you can.
When it comes to "weeds" in any space, I think it's more helpful to decolonize our perspective and think about what our place in the garden is. Are we there to make it all look uniform and "clean"? Why do we call some plants weeds anyway? Chickweed is edible and really good for you in the spring. Buttercup can colonize the worst of compacted clay soils. Miner's lettuce is a weed, also edible, chock full of nutrients. And all of these are excellent forage for pollinators, who we need in our gardens to help us grow our own food.
My garden is a safe haven for plenty of weeds, dandelions included. I try to keep them out of the onions and beans, but I also raise plants that can fend for themselves. Who am I to say who belongs and who does not? Just no bunnies, please. They are so greedy!
*save the bunnies too* 👯♂️🐇
Okay, here's a micro-story for you. The bunnies kept eating the peas before they could get bigger than an inch or two, so I built a fence. Then they got around the fence, so I fortified it. Then somebunny got inside and had a litter of baby bunnies, and the peas got eaten even more. So the kids helped herd the babies out. And we fortified the fence AGAIN. And then there was still one inside eating stuff, and he accidentally got himself trapped in the greenhouse. So I went in with a big empty pot, gathered him up, and we escorted him down the road to the neighbor's yard.
I am not Farmer MacGregor. I am all talk. And I save the bunbuns when I can.
Just leave the damn peas alone!!
Rascals! Lucky neighbor...? 🫛🫛🫛
Dandelions are liver trophorestoratives -- they have a massive beneficial relationship with liver and digestive functions. When bears wake after hibernation the first they do is forage for dandelions to clear their systems and get everything working again. I'm a herbalist and have never even heard of buying the seeds -- wild ones are just fine. A question that often arises when I'm working with someone who would benefit from dandelion is -- how are you digesting your life? Dandelions work physically but also on our emotional/psychological digestion -- they are supportive allies for change, for helping us out of stagnant, stuck phases. I think that makes them great trans allies along with so many herbs which are so much about the many transformative journeys we make in life. I would absolutely recommend dandelion to anyone who is transitioning (and have to my trans daughter) but don't go buying them -- they're free.
Jan, I did not know any of this! I'm so glad you jumped in to respond. Now we all know more!
Buying dandelion seeds? Straight-up capitalism at its worst.
Dandelions as beneficial herbs for transition? I am in love with this notion.
And there you have it - from an EXPERT! 💚💛💚🤍💚💛💚
***SAVE THE DANDELIONS!***
Great info, thank you ☺️