The first rule in the playbook of authoritarian dictators is to make the populace fear the “other”. Could be trans people, could be migrants, no matter. That way the electorate doesn’t even notice when all their rights disappear.
This is absolutely true. It's a shady little shell game to distract folx while the real problems are brewing in the background. I hope more people see this for what it is.
"So let’s exist and piss someone off. I double-dog dare you." I am so far away and the fear reaches across oceans, but even more the bravery, the refusal to be silent -- as the wonderful Audre Lorde noted "your silence will not protect you" -- the least we can do is piss the ***** off.
there is a weird gift in not having anything left to lose - the best way sometimes is to kill be with kindness - smile have compassion say you agree with everything they have to say - that you are a xxxxxx - I find with toxic people it absolutely floors them. Humour laughter with them - impossible for them to stomach at times. What can they do when you say they are right whilst beaming and full of joy - I am thinking of my biological family - it makes your life better too as it leaves you free to focus on what is actually important to you.
my heart is exploding out of my chest reading this. i read it first and then listened to it in your voice - and this voice! this voice. this voice EXISTS. and i am here to celebrate it. thank you for putting to words everything that's been swirling in me this week. thank you for using two exclamation points at the end of your emails. thank you for being here. i stand with you and by you. double-dog dare accepted, whole-heartedly.
I have recently renewed my commitment to including voiceovers when I can as a way to improve accessibility for my friends and to provide a little piece of myself for the world to hear. I think we become more real when we can hear each other. So... thanks for hearing me.
I'm all about 'good' trouble, man. I been tearing shit up for a long time. What should you and I start with? I'm no doubt radical, so I'd have to tone it down for you. I'm a good man, but I am NOT nice about it. LOL
You know, I think the time for "nice" is in the past. Maybe a good old fashioned ruckus is just the thing. Being nice about who we are and our right to exist can only get us so far.
Because of the speed & volume of bullshit going on right now, this is what I'm starting to figure out. This mess is pissing off a lot of people, aside from trans folks, so we need to get swept up in that resistance. It's like when a bunch of different kinds of people got swept up into the Civil Rights Movement. The Vietnam War protestors joined the Civil Rights Movement and shit got moving fast.
Hopefully it won't be too late for us. They're trying to erase us fast. RESIST with everything you can and keep your eyes on the larger revolution developing!!!!!!! ✊🏿
I was going to organize something for DC, but that was before the idiot got elected. Wanted to show up at the visitors side of the White House with at least 100 hairy, burly, manly-looking brothas and line up to use the women's room. See if the women like that, and make a point. Go out to dinner and overrun some restaurant. 😂 Now it could be a dangerous preposition.
I’m mad about how we got to this—I am sorry this even happened. But it’s a sign we (the side that’s for trans rights/human rights) did not fight hard enough. We were too silent, too complacent.
If there’s anything I recall from days marching with my older half-brother and his then partner it was SILENCE = DEATH …there will be no silence for trans voices. I hear you. You exist. You have a right to exist. I hear you loud and clear.
Louder and harder is what I want to say, but I know that is not easy given the fact that there are some people so angry and downright crazy (“crazy” meaning they are disconnected from what’s ethical and moral) who want to annihilate us. They do not want to seek understanding. They want to stay stuck in their skewed beliefs that harm us all.
However, that is wonderfully said, and gosh, Robin I wanna cry because it’s reminding me of a story my mom told me about shiny coconuts.
She told me once I was a shiny coconut. I was so different from the rest of her children. She said “the other coconuts are dull,” and they fall to the ground and stay there. She said I was shiny. I fell to the ground and because I’m shiny, I’m slippery. And because I’m so “eslippery” I roll. And I roll and don’t stay stuck. But people don’t know if I’m safe to eat. They don’t know if I’m sweet inside.
Long story short, shiny is good.
And if you seen my mom and me, you would think she was my maid.
(I’m not ready to disclose what country she’s from because of all the uncomfortable stuff I hear—not that you’d do that to me!)
Tess, I love this coconut story! Truth time, I'm extremely allergic to coconuts, but no shade from me. I still love all of this. And it feels very true about you, from what little I know of you, as a person who is absolutely not stuck. It's clear this has been a gift of yours for a long time.
I think if I saw you with your mom, I would likely see the love between you as a vivid and beautiful feature. No matter what country she is from or where she calls home, she is part of my community just like you are. The things that make us different bind us together, too.
Well, we were just going along living our lives, not bothering nobody. Then we were thrust out onto the political stage and could never get out in front of it because corporate media refuses to tell our stories & the truth about us. Relying too much on the internet. We're not scary; THEY ARE! People be arguing in public about us and have no idea I'm sitting at the next table.
I went through something similar during the gay rights movement, BUT... We got out in front of it with unity and the internet didn't exist. No way to launch smear campaigns with lightning speed. Right now there is no real unity. We're too small compared to the entire movement, and the rest of them went into hiding and wouldn't come out for us ... the way many of us came out for them. Many of the LGBQ+ have issues with us as much as straight folks do. I've seen that in living action on FB, btw. I was marching in the streets (1980's), as we all were across the U.S. We've been trying to play catch-up ever since. Without the media, they control the narrative and they're intentionally not talking to us so they can continue to scare the hell out of people ABOUT us. They're letting asshole phobics control the narrative & attack us on the internet.
Same thing happened with Black people during slavery & Jim Crow. I was born during Jim Crow and growing up I saw many of the same fucked-up messaging about us Blacks and worse. They hunted us, continue to hunt us as Black people, and now I have trans to add to the mix. 🙄 If we don't convince people to start protesting in volume, we'll never get out ahead of this shit. They're trying to run us out like the 1930 Nazis did in Germany. And THOSE ARE THE FACTS!
Bless you for being out there and fighting along with.
I remember in the 90s scared as hell—but I had my brother and his husband. Our friends marching almost every weekend somewhere.
We were doing this work in response to Republican Governor Pete Wilson.
There was this time we decided to do a night match with Act Up. We all decided to lay down on the street. All of our bodies—on a cold-ass dirty street in Silverlake.
I’m freezing, and then someone makes a joke about how his ass is cold. One guy on the other end went, “Well that’s asphalt.” The word pun had everyone rolling.
In the laughter we felt lighter. Warmer. And then we went back to blocking the street in protest.
I’ve learned early on …as I used to be an archivist at a sex education library/archives to “check any privilege” at the door—
I’m cis-gender expansive and non-conforming. I can hide under the F on my ID, therefore, I have cis-gender privilege.
This can make for ignorant behavior because I don’t have the same existence a trans-person has.
I also know I have what’s called “passing for white privilege” too.*
For example, though it’s annoying when whites (usually they are white people in my experience) ask, “What kind of Asian are you?” I can still take some solace in a white-Irish surname.
Yet, the other side of me feels I’ve already exposed myself and now it feels even more dissecting. I can still walk about the country with some people thinking, “She must be Eastern European.”
But being bi-racial is different from being trans. And I can only imagine the layers of oppression thrust upon trans-BIPOC people.
So yes, I better listen. I better see & re-stack. I better let that someone else speak first.
Robin, hat off to you for so candidly, brilliantly, truthfully putting into words something I haven't yet been able to myself. You are the realest real, and I'm so effing grateful for you and for this dare.
I am glad that you exist Robin. You have taught me things and your stories have entertained me. As for those ignorant fucks that have narrow stupid minds, they need to wake up to the fact that transgender people have always been here, and they are not going anywhere.
Thank you, Robin. I would enjoy meeting you as well. For now, we can do a virtual hug. I treasure your friendship. It's hard to believe that there are so many fucked up people that would vote for an absolute idiot.
WOW ,just wow.... You had me with the reference to my totally favorite book on the planet....I was like the Velveteen Rabbit at the end of the story—real. Alive. I am very happy you do exsist!
no one can make you "not exist" remember that - it is actually impossible - not that as always there are threats and in the States at the moment - hold strong - hold together - with your friends across the world - with all of us who are "difficult" and won't stay down.
Be not cowered by another's narrative - or their threats veiled or otherwise. You are here you exist no-one has the power to change that.
There are always more good people in the world - power resides in those who we think have power over us, yes I know the law is and can be changed - but what you are who you are your sense of self and beingness is real, constant. I see you
The first rule in the playbook of authoritarian dictators is to make the populace fear the “other”. Could be trans people, could be migrants, no matter. That way the electorate doesn’t even notice when all their rights disappear.
This is absolutely true. It's a shady little shell game to distract folx while the real problems are brewing in the background. I hope more people see this for what it is.
I think a revolution is coming.
"So let’s exist and piss someone off. I double-dog dare you." I am so far away and the fear reaches across oceans, but even more the bravery, the refusal to be silent -- as the wonderful Audre Lorde noted "your silence will not protect you" -- the least we can do is piss the ***** off.
Hell yes, Jan!
What do you do when you no longer exist? You take up space and you piss people off and you tell those people to fucking deal with it!
Fuck yeah!!
there is a weird gift in not having anything left to lose - the best way sometimes is to kill be with kindness - smile have compassion say you agree with everything they have to say - that you are a xxxxxx - I find with toxic people it absolutely floors them. Humour laughter with them - impossible for them to stomach at times. What can they do when you say they are right whilst beaming and full of joy - I am thinking of my biological family - it makes your life better too as it leaves you free to focus on what is actually important to you.
Yes. Our sheer "...existence is an act of rebellion".
my heart is exploding out of my chest reading this. i read it first and then listened to it in your voice - and this voice! this voice. this voice EXISTS. and i am here to celebrate it. thank you for putting to words everything that's been swirling in me this week. thank you for using two exclamation points at the end of your emails. thank you for being here. i stand with you and by you. double-dog dare accepted, whole-heartedly.
I have recently renewed my commitment to including voiceovers when I can as a way to improve accessibility for my friends and to provide a little piece of myself for the world to hear. I think we become more real when we can hear each other. So... thanks for hearing me.
Ooooooo, I love dares like that 😁 Did it all the time as a kid. You're on!
Sweet!! Let's tear some shit up, brother.
I'm all about 'good' trouble, man. I been tearing shit up for a long time. What should you and I start with? I'm no doubt radical, so I'd have to tone it down for you. I'm a good man, but I am NOT nice about it. LOL
You know, I think the time for "nice" is in the past. Maybe a good old fashioned ruckus is just the thing. Being nice about who we are and our right to exist can only get us so far.
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I'd trust you and Robin to get into some good trouble! Count me in!
Because of the speed & volume of bullshit going on right now, this is what I'm starting to figure out. This mess is pissing off a lot of people, aside from trans folks, so we need to get swept up in that resistance. It's like when a bunch of different kinds of people got swept up into the Civil Rights Movement. The Vietnam War protestors joined the Civil Rights Movement and shit got moving fast.
Hopefully it won't be too late for us. They're trying to erase us fast. RESIST with everything you can and keep your eyes on the larger revolution developing!!!!!!! ✊🏿
I was going to organize something for DC, but that was before the idiot got elected. Wanted to show up at the visitors side of the White House with at least 100 hairy, burly, manly-looking brothas and line up to use the women's room. See if the women like that, and make a point. Go out to dinner and overrun some restaurant. 😂 Now it could be a dangerous preposition.
Oh yeah, agreed, that's a ticket to jail for sure now.
Yeah, regroup! Will think about this for a little while.
Ugh. So painful. I’m so sorry.
Thank you, Mary.
I’m so glad you exist, Robin! This piece is amazing and hearing it in your voice makes it that much more “real”…undeniable, indelible. Thank you
I’m mad about how we got to this—I am sorry this even happened. But it’s a sign we (the side that’s for trans rights/human rights) did not fight hard enough. We were too silent, too complacent.
If there’s anything I recall from days marching with my older half-brother and his then partner it was SILENCE = DEATH …there will be no silence for trans voices. I hear you. You exist. You have a right to exist. I hear you loud and clear.
Louder and harder is what I want to say, but I know that is not easy given the fact that there are some people so angry and downright crazy (“crazy” meaning they are disconnected from what’s ethical and moral) who want to annihilate us. They do not want to seek understanding. They want to stay stuck in their skewed beliefs that harm us all.
Were we too silent? Or have we become [too] powerful in our self-love? Maybe we are a target because we shine so bright.
I think some of us were too silent.
However, that is wonderfully said, and gosh, Robin I wanna cry because it’s reminding me of a story my mom told me about shiny coconuts.
She told me once I was a shiny coconut. I was so different from the rest of her children. She said “the other coconuts are dull,” and they fall to the ground and stay there. She said I was shiny. I fell to the ground and because I’m shiny, I’m slippery. And because I’m so “eslippery” I roll. And I roll and don’t stay stuck. But people don’t know if I’m safe to eat. They don’t know if I’m sweet inside.
Long story short, shiny is good.
And if you seen my mom and me, you would think she was my maid.
(I’m not ready to disclose what country she’s from because of all the uncomfortable stuff I hear—not that you’d do that to me!)
Tess, I love this coconut story! Truth time, I'm extremely allergic to coconuts, but no shade from me. I still love all of this. And it feels very true about you, from what little I know of you, as a person who is absolutely not stuck. It's clear this has been a gift of yours for a long time.
I think if I saw you with your mom, I would likely see the love between you as a vivid and beautiful feature. No matter what country she is from or where she calls home, she is part of my community just like you are. The things that make us different bind us together, too.
I miss my mother and all I have are her stories…she passed in 2014. She lived a longish life. She had me when she was 43, and my little brother wt 45.
Anyhow: Thank you for your kind words.
More importantly: I am here with you in solidarity ♥️
Oh Tess, I am so sorry for your loss. And I am so grateful for your solidarity and friendship.
💪 so happy to be called friend—on my end I am your advocate, ally, supporter & now friend too.
Well, we were just going along living our lives, not bothering nobody. Then we were thrust out onto the political stage and could never get out in front of it because corporate media refuses to tell our stories & the truth about us. Relying too much on the internet. We're not scary; THEY ARE! People be arguing in public about us and have no idea I'm sitting at the next table.
I went through something similar during the gay rights movement, BUT... We got out in front of it with unity and the internet didn't exist. No way to launch smear campaigns with lightning speed. Right now there is no real unity. We're too small compared to the entire movement, and the rest of them went into hiding and wouldn't come out for us ... the way many of us came out for them. Many of the LGBQ+ have issues with us as much as straight folks do. I've seen that in living action on FB, btw. I was marching in the streets (1980's), as we all were across the U.S. We've been trying to play catch-up ever since. Without the media, they control the narrative and they're intentionally not talking to us so they can continue to scare the hell out of people ABOUT us. They're letting asshole phobics control the narrative & attack us on the internet.
Same thing happened with Black people during slavery & Jim Crow. I was born during Jim Crow and growing up I saw many of the same fucked-up messaging about us Blacks and worse. They hunted us, continue to hunt us as Black people, and now I have trans to add to the mix. 🙄 If we don't convince people to start protesting in volume, we'll never get out ahead of this shit. They're trying to run us out like the 1930 Nazis did in Germany. And THOSE ARE THE FACTS!
Bless you for being out there and fighting along with.
I remember in the 90s scared as hell—but I had my brother and his husband. Our friends marching almost every weekend somewhere.
We were doing this work in response to Republican Governor Pete Wilson.
There was this time we decided to do a night match with Act Up. We all decided to lay down on the street. All of our bodies—on a cold-ass dirty street in Silverlake.
I’m freezing, and then someone makes a joke about how his ass is cold. One guy on the other end went, “Well that’s asphalt.” The word pun had everyone rolling.
In the laughter we felt lighter. Warmer. And then we went back to blocking the street in protest.
🫂🤗
I’ve learned early on …as I used to be an archivist at a sex education library/archives to “check any privilege” at the door—
I’m cis-gender expansive and non-conforming. I can hide under the F on my ID, therefore, I have cis-gender privilege.
This can make for ignorant behavior because I don’t have the same existence a trans-person has.
I also know I have what’s called “passing for white privilege” too.*
For example, though it’s annoying when whites (usually they are white people in my experience) ask, “What kind of Asian are you?” I can still take some solace in a white-Irish surname.
Yet, the other side of me feels I’ve already exposed myself and now it feels even more dissecting. I can still walk about the country with some people thinking, “She must be Eastern European.”
But being bi-racial is different from being trans. And I can only imagine the layers of oppression thrust upon trans-BIPOC people.
So yes, I better listen. I better see & re-stack. I better let that someone else speak first.
*I’ll have to thank actor Darren Criss for that.
Being trans-BIPOC is wild, Tess. Much more oppressive. Thank you for using the proper term BIPOC. Most people don't know about that. Peace!
You are far more real than they ever will be. We love you tremendously. Fuck them. You exist. And I am so glad you do.
That is incredibly fucking validating. Thank you. I love you right back.
"I cast a shadow." Deal with it.
Robin, hat off to you for so candidly, brilliantly, truthfully putting into words something I haven't yet been able to myself. You are the realest real, and I'm so effing grateful for you and for this dare.
Likewise, sib-friend. Maybe we can make each other real.
I am glad that you exist Robin. You have taught me things and your stories have entertained me. As for those ignorant fucks that have narrow stupid minds, they need to wake up to the fact that transgender people have always been here, and they are not going anywhere.
Someday, Charlotte, I hope I get to meet you in person to give you the very best, very biggest hug I can. You're a wonderful friend.
Thank you, Robin. I would enjoy meeting you as well. For now, we can do a virtual hug. I treasure your friendship. It's hard to believe that there are so many fucked up people that would vote for an absolute idiot.
WOW ,just wow.... You had me with the reference to my totally favorite book on the planet....I was like the Velveteen Rabbit at the end of the story—real. Alive. I am very happy you do exsist!
I loved that story as a child. It stuck with me, and clearly it's an important message.
Oh no, I shared this before I realized it might make me not real! I feel transparenter already.
The next point I should make is about how being real isn't really that big a deal anyway, right?
I’m ok with questionable self-reality ⭐️
no one can make you "not exist" remember that - it is actually impossible - not that as always there are threats and in the States at the moment - hold strong - hold together - with your friends across the world - with all of us who are "difficult" and won't stay down.
Be not cowered by another's narrative - or their threats veiled or otherwise. You are here you exist no-one has the power to change that.
There are always more good people in the world - power resides in those who we think have power over us, yes I know the law is and can be changed - but what you are who you are your sense of self and beingness is real, constant. I see you