Thank you for this! I’m currently six months on T with 2 little ones and it’s been a challenge. Reading this gave me comfort that I’m not the only one sloughing through the hard stuff. Thank you again friend!
You really did a great job getting across how passing can seem like a victory and an erasure by sharing this. Because all the things that you did as a parent when you were still visibly your son's mother would seem to be swept away by becoming his father and to me that would definitely be so bittersweet. It's such a shame that we're conditioned to see so much of the world through a lens of gender that doesn't need to exist at all but that is at the same time very real in the ways we allow it to define and limit other humans as well as ourselves.
Thank you for this, it really helped me understand in a way I didn't before. 🩵🩷🤍
You're making me think you understand it better than I do.
Oddly, I have these moments now when I'm in a group of people discussing things like birth, and when the moms talk about their experiences, I still want to say, "Oh yeah, back labor was the worst feeling ever," but instead I choke it back because... well what man/father/masc person knows anything about birthing babies? Except I do.
Yeah, me too, Rowan. Me too. No matter what we decide for ourselves about this, collectively or in individual moments, there can be so much joy in being seen.
Thank you for this! I’m currently six months on T with 2 little ones and it’s been a challenge. Reading this gave me comfort that I’m not the only one sloughing through the hard stuff. Thank you again friend!
Ash, you are most definitely in good company here.
You really did a great job getting across how passing can seem like a victory and an erasure by sharing this. Because all the things that you did as a parent when you were still visibly your son's mother would seem to be swept away by becoming his father and to me that would definitely be so bittersweet. It's such a shame that we're conditioned to see so much of the world through a lens of gender that doesn't need to exist at all but that is at the same time very real in the ways we allow it to define and limit other humans as well as ourselves.
Thank you for this, it really helped me understand in a way I didn't before. 🩵🩷🤍
You're making me think you understand it better than I do.
Oddly, I have these moments now when I'm in a group of people discussing things like birth, and when the moms talk about their experiences, I still want to say, "Oh yeah, back labor was the worst feeling ever," but instead I choke it back because... well what man/father/masc person knows anything about birthing babies? Except I do.
You earned that and somewhere out there, other dads who know the ache of back labor are smiling because they feel less alone today.
Exactly! That kills me, you shouldn't have to give up any of that!
Thank you Robin, from a nonbinary femme whose been on e for a year now and who also has dissonance around ideas of passing.
Yeah, me too, Rowan. Me too. No matter what we decide for ourselves about this, collectively or in individual moments, there can be so much joy in being seen.
Beautifully written and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I think that any kind of change takes some getting used to Robin. But it does sound like you have made some progress.