March
Pride on the Page Day #12
Each of the mini-essays I’m publishing for the month of June are part of a creative challenge to share joy during Pride. You can find out more in the link below. You can even participate, if you’d like!
Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay
12. March
My journey of queer-i-tude started when I was pretty young—high school, teenage years. I knew I was attracted to girls, and boys made me feel like puking. A friend suggested maybe I was a lesbian, and I figured I could work with a label like that for a while, even if it didn’t feel quite right. And that’s how I became the epicenter of queerness at my high school. It got me beaten up once or twice. It got me into trouble with girls many times (*wink*). It got me called into the principal’s office under duress, even though he only wanted to be able to get in touch with the queer community in the school, and I was the only kid who was out. So I suppose I was used to having to do all the work myself.
Being the only out kid in high school was lonely and isolating, but I couldn’t see any other way to be.
When I showed up on Substack, it was the same game all over again. I searched for other trans writers like me, but my searches came up either empty or showing only publications that were essentially dead or dormant. Instead of giving up, I dug in deeper, knowing that our community was here and that they would find me if I was bold enough and loud enough and friendly enough.
Along the way I ended up meeting a big number of queer friends who just happen to be cis. An odd thing happened—they stood by me in all kinds of (political) weather, they cheered me on, they supported my writing, and they became solid friends. Turns out cis queer friends make our community even more beautiful than I expected.
Here’s a little shout to a few of the folx who’ve marched beside me. I might not be here today were it not for their kindness, and I’m so grateful for them choosing to be my friends.1
Your trans friend,
Robin
If you don’t see yourself listed, and you know you’re my friend, you’re either (A) trans or gender-awesome (and therefore not destined for a cis list), or (B) I don’t know that you’re queer, or I wouldn’t want to out you. So to all my trans lovelies, y’all are the best. And to my cis-straight friends, I adore you. Anybody else? Gimme a nudge and I’m happy to list you here.
Wait, did I just make a cis-list?? Whoa. Didn’t see that script flip coming.
I'm on a cis-list! I need some Pride confetti!
In all seriousness, I appreciate making it on to your list of friends, Robin! It's so nice to have connections to fellow queer folx on the platform. Aces like myself occasionally get shoved to the fringes even by other LGBTQ+ people, so it's good to have a solid community that welcomes us.
Happy Pride, y'all! Even in these dark times, there is something to celebrate. We're here, and we're not going anywhere!
Hello, fellow queers!
I'm a bit imposterish in this specific list, but so happy to be a "friend of Robin" (the new 'friend of Dorothy'?! Why not? Let's mainstream that).
It's ... Complicated. Gender is a journey.
In 1980s, I learned to name myself a lesbian feminist. Years later, when I read Monique Wittig ("a lesbian is not a woman" and then Judith Butler - the matrix), I began to tell people - "Don't call me woman!" Or "Don't *woman* me!!". (Gender is so often a verb that others enact upon us, eh?)
A few more years passed, the term non-binary became common - and I realised that fitted best. My uncles always said I was a woman with a man's brain.😂 My adolescent and twenties eating disorder issues were, I finally realised, rooted in the desire for a body that was bone and muscle and no soft bits please. (Still got *a lot* of work to do there, I know. The self hate runs deep for many of us queers. The social conditioning is intense. An ageing body is yet again throwing up new challenges, as muscle becomes harder to keep holding onto). On this, I especially loved Robin's recent piece about his dad bod at the pool. (Read it!) I grew up idolising Lisa Lyon (via Mapplethorpe) and I *need to let that shit go*.
So for me, gender has felt like a thing, a social structure , that I just wish didn't exist at all. I realise this is not true for many others - including many trans people.
All this morning rambling just to say - I'm so proud to be a friend of Robin and I've been very grateful for the online community I've found here around him and his work.
Robin is one of the most generous hearted, proactive, thoughtful folks around this space and thank goodness for people like this in our rough little world.
Here's a wee story of self acceptance and hope for all our futures. Shutting up now. Promise.
https://open.substack.com/pub/carolineosella/p/biodiversity