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It was a revelation for me, in my mid-twenties, to suddenly understand that kids didn't bully me because 'kids will be kids' but because they were policing my gender performance— a thing I wrote a reflection on for my blog: https://open.substack.com/pub/kschatch/p/bullies?r=ntqgr&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web.

Every single instance of bullying I survived (and I survived, but barely, there was a time when I came dangerously close to not getting to grow up to be a thriving queer adult) was an instance of my peers communicating that I was doing gender 'wrong'.

This is was in the 90s, and over the years I have gotten to see how things have improved, how more people actually talk about the specifics of bullying as a form of harassment aimed at kids who aren't adhering to the status quo, and that's what makes this hurt all the more. We need to do better. We must do better. We must name loudly and often that teenagers and kids who bully their peers are doing it because they are learning bigotry from the adults and the culture around them. That adults demanding to remove books are just those teenagers grown up, with way more power to bully people, and they most often keep bullying kids.

I want us to all make a world where queer kids don't just survive school, but get to be themselves fully and thrive in it.

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heart breaking and vital piece of writing. thank you.

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It's difficult to "like" this post because it's so incredibly heartbreaking. But I'm "liking" it because there is so much truth in it, so much that people need to know and see. And I'm "liking" it for Nex... because, I, too, want to know them. The world should have had the opportunity to know them. Thank you for bringing these hard, dark things into the light.

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Thank you, Robin. Your words can help all of us understand a little bit more. So much suffering. I am so sorry for what Nex went through and so many others.

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thank you for this, and I hope your kind words reach someone who needs them. it is so important to imbue humanity in posts covering terrible incidents like what happened.

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Thank you for writing this Robin.

Losing Nex in that manner is horrific enough, but the following vitriol and justifications by the christofacist leadership of OK is outright sinister and reprehensible.

The republican leaders, who are actually christian Fascists, want trans people to be the villains of this country, even onto our own deaths.

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You are correct Sydney. I read the nauseating words of the individual who referred to Nex and those like her as filth. There aren't words to describe this disgusting person, at least not polite ones.

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I did read about Nex and what happened. It made me sad and angry at the same time. The level of ignorance in this country is disgusting. I surely hope these people will be held accountable for what they did. You're in my thoughts Robin.

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Thank you!!!

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