I wish the Transgender Social Contagion was real
Even though we know it was made up
If you’re not up to speed, here’s the (completely debunked and stupid to begin with) idea: Being transgender is something you ‘catch’ by being around others who are transgender.
There’s no need for us to get into the science, into the peer-review process, into what it takes to get your article accepted and published by a scientific journal. Others have done a great job at this, and I applaud their work. So no, that’s not what this is about.
This is just pure venting.
Nobody suddenly becomes transgender just by reading about trans people or seeing us in a Pride parade. Books with transgender characters will not make a child (or an adult) “turn trans.” There is no such thing as a social contagion for gender identity. The entire concept was made up by someone who wanted to drum up fear and hatred of transgender people and our community, and their cruelty is still perpetuated around the country despite that “research” they faked that was almost immediately debunked, removed from that publication, and widely denounced for its inaccuracy and fabrication.
But.
I wish it was real.
I wish it was a thing that I could walk into a room and infect everyone with all of my queerness. Is it from a sneeze? Should I stop politely covering and spread my gender nonconformity as far as my lung capacity allows? Because just for a minute, I would be less alone. I wouldn’t be the only one in that room like me. Imagine, if you will, how it feels to walk into a public space and fear know that you’re not just alone, but that you might also be hated if those around you knew what you were.
And what is this thing that I am that sets me apart from so many others? What is it about me that is so isolating, so othering, so different? It is the mistake made by those around me. When I was born, they thought they knew who I was, and they got it wrong. They never asked.
Do I really wish that everyone around me was transgender? No.1
Do I wish that others were more open to thinking about their own gender and how gender fits (or
The guts of this whole concept of transgender identities being contagious equates those identities to a disease. And it says that we are A Wrong Thing that should not exist, a thing that others should try to cleanse and remove from the world. If it is a contagion, should you not protect your children and loved ones from it? From us?
Would you create a vaccine if that was in your power?
Just one shot and you can be queer-free and safe forever. No more need to mask up around your trans acquaintances. All the temptations to cross those boundaries of binary genders is whisked away with a pinch to your arm. Because – folks – it really is that easy to be transgender. One minute you’re ……
Funny thing. They say you should write what you know (which is pure bunk, too), and I hit a wall right there. Did you see it happen? I have literally zero concept of what it must feel like to be content in your skin from birth. What words go with that? Is it seamless? Do your body and your gender just feel like home? Like some intrinsic part of you that has always made sense? And if I’m even a little close with what I *think* that must be like, then how could the influence of a transgender guy like me persuade you out of that comfort? Because all I can think about is how amazing that would feel. I would never give that up if I had it.
Tangent: I am getting closer to that feeling. I swear I am. The divide between my internal sense of self, the feeling of my body, my emotional state, is narrowing, coming closer to a wonderful middle space where things may not all make sense but where I can feel joy just around the corner. I am so close.
*achoo*
Sorry. Glitter tickled my sinuses. I promise this won’t catch.
Your trans friend,
Robin
Many thanks to those of you who read what I post twice weekly. Things are a little busy around here at the moment, so I’m going to post only once a week until that slows down again.
Okay, absolutely yes. Sometimes.
Your questions about what it feels like to be cis remind me of things I used to think about when I was first starting to let myself explore my gender. I kept trying to figure out what it would feel like if I was cis and I asked almost these exact same questions because I had no idea what it would feel like. Looking back, I wish I had been able to talk to someone like you who was asking the same questions. Also, “I wish it was a thing that I could walk into a room and infect everyone with all of my queerness” brought a HUGE smile to my face. Yes to that! Here's to the glitter, and to the growing space of joy and wonder in our bodies.