29 Comments

I was an English major. I know how to write a complete sentence, have a decent vocabulary and can punctuate. However, sometimes slang, puns and words considered improper, like “ain’t”, can convey a wholly different vibe. There’s nothing wrong with playing to one’s audience or to make a point. Some of my family’s funniest moments came from an innocent slip of the tongue or a malaprop.

Expand full comment
author

So true. I love this tie to family, too. Lots of families have special words or phrases that hide great stories beneath them.

Expand full comment

I have heard from multiple other neurodivergent writers that sometimes unconventional phrasing or formatting is required or preferred to express their/our experiences. I appreciate that you are looking for the meaning first before considering the rules. And this is a beautiful message of hope!

Expand full comment
author

That makes sense. I wonder if some of our best language changes have come from neurodiverse thinkers and writers, from those who feel boxed in by rules and want to color outside the lines.

Expand full comment

There is, of course, a need for correct grammar etc but whenever I see people getting too caught up in it I remember how Shakespeare is credited with the invention or introduction of over 1,700 words.

If it was good enough for Bill…

Expand full comment
author

That Bill, he definitely had a way with words!

Expand full comment

When I was in middle school, I was tasked to edit the poem of another student for our literary journal. The poem was written in traditional rhyme couplets.

All except for the very last stanza, where instead of the expected, which should have been, ‘It could be any day’ they broke the rhyme pattern and used the phrase ‘It could be any month.’

That unexpected change made the poem funny, ironic, and heartbreaking. It welcomed in the loss we feel of long-term waiting.

However, I was a snarky, power-hungry 7th grader imbued with a red pen. I blithely crossed out ‘month’ and penned in ‘day.’

It was published in our literary journal with my edit that broke the spirit of the poem.

What an asshole.

Expand full comment
author

Middle school is the birthplace of awkward mistakes. And if you hadn't done it then, you might have done it later when it really mattered. So maybe younger you was taking the hit.

Expand full comment

Okay, I love this so much - especially the paragraph that begins with "Some (someone?) have called me a wordsmith....." YES. Words fail so often. And, it's mind boggling that language even exists and that we can, if but incompletely and imperfectly, express thoughts and feelings and ideas ...... wow. 🌻

Expand full comment
author

But what a beauty language is for releasing all those pent-up feelings!

Expand full comment

I love this so very much. Thank you, my friend.

Expand full comment

I love the Oxford comma too! And why is it so maligned yet people don't get into arguments about en dash or em dash usage and end friendships?

Expand full comment
author

Don't tempt. I bet someone would argue about em dashes.

Expand full comment

en garde against ‘em dashes

Expand full comment

It must be in the air... I published an article about hope today too. 💛

But also, "Diagramming sentences in early high school was SUCH joy for me."

What kind of monster ARE you, Robin??? Sheesh, you think you know a guy...

Expand full comment
author

Ha! I had no idea diagramming sentences was so beastly. But guilty as charged, I'm a word nerd.

Expand full comment

So glad you are here and I love reading your work! I agree; writing is all about finding the meaning!

Expand full comment

As an immigrant and avid user of Grammarly, I appreciate this essay a LOT. Oh and neurodivergent - can’t forget that.

My relationship with Grammarly and its corrections is complicated to say the least 😂

Expand full comment
author

Well it's not a very balance relationship with Grammarly, is it. I mean, zero healthy boundaries, no transparent discussions, and it just wants to step all over your style. I think we are all better without that kind of "love" in our lives.

Expand full comment

Oh wow! It’s hard not to break up with it when you put it that way. Wow

Expand full comment
author

Anthropomorphizing things is a terrible idea until it provides a level of clarity we all need. And yes, I had to look up that spelling. I didn’t let the computer do it for me.

Expand full comment

😂😂 Absolutely love everything here!

Expand full comment

Thank you for writing the above.

Being 77 years-old and educated in a UK grammar school and 3 universities I was a stickler for "good" grammar, syntax or whatever. "Like any grammatical error or like syntactic lapse would make me like feel frustrated like annoyed or like feel that the person was like ignorant ot like uneducated." I have deliberately used "like" in the previous sentence because I don't like it. I am no longer distressed by it.

Maybe as a result of being a volunteer teacher of English to physically disabled Thai youth for 20 years or, perhaps, because I have spoken with linguists, my attitude has shifted. Language, oral or written, is a communication tool. It is also a living, changing and developing tool. I am now more concerned with whether it is communicating effectively. If an US spelling, "of off" or any grammatical error or slip prevents me from understanding or enjoying a story then it is my responsibility for my own inflexibility. Or, maybe, I am getting too old to care anymore.

Expand full comment

Mistakes and supposed misprints, together with other imperfections are what make us human. Also, as you imply in your footnote, these are what distinguish humanity from AI. Long May this continue!

Expand full comment
author

Yeah, I don't really fear AI replacing our writing. It needs that human touch. Mistakes can be so gorgeous.

Expand full comment

Hope is the best indeed.

And once again, you prove to me that you are my kind of person. It's one thing to know the rules. It's another to look at how to bend, and even break them. Sometimes that change is what is needed to truly get the point across.

Expand full comment
author

Well, I must admit that age has given me the gift of seeing these things. Younger me could never have understood this stuff.

Expand full comment

Another English maven and total grammar fiend here. Thank you for the reminder that wordsmithing can allow for quirkiness - a handy thing to remember next time my husband wants me to edit something he's written! His jam is philosophy; spelling and grammar, not so much. 😉

Expand full comment
author

There is so much room for philosophy AND unique wordplay!

Expand full comment