Robin, and every other person experiencing the same. I hear you.
And I want to acknowledge something that might not have fully landed yet: you’ve just been re-traumatized by a system you thought was at least somewhat stable, somewhat predictable, maybe even slightly favorable.
That is no small thing. To the contrary—it’s massive.
Especially for you trans and non-binary people, who are now facing not just erasure but the very real possibility of prosecution or worse if this continues unfolding.
This is immediate danger. And danger alone is enough to create stress, but re-traumatization? That adds a whole other layer.
So please, give yourself a break.
Take care of yourself first—your safety, your security, your psychological well-being.
This fight is not a sprint, and it’s certainly not one person’s burden to carry. You don’t owe anyone constant resistance. You don’t have to be the one grabbing the wheel every time the bus veers off the road.
You are here. You exist. That is already enough.
You cannot '"resist" well when you are in full stress- and trauma-mode. Take care of yourself first. Please.
Jay, you're correct. This is re-traumatizing, and that's a lot for each of us to bear even when we do it as a community. I'm thankful you're here, and I am so grateful for your friendship.
Robin, I hear you. Carrying this, even together, is still a weight. I’m grateful for you too—for your presence, your truth, and the way you show up. None of us should have to bear this, yet here we are. And I’m here with you.
I appreciate this post more than you know right now, Robin. Your list of all the things being shouted at us really landed with me. I know we can’t “do nothing” every day. But it’s like I told the non-profit managers I once supervised, as I looked at their exhausted faces one day, “some days it has to be enough just to have kept things running that day. We don’t have to innovate every day.”
I have to second Robin's appreciation for your showing up here to voice your support. It means an immense amount to me to have you here. I know that your energy is limited. And yes, I agree that just your being here is more than just enough, it's amazing!
This is the most important thing I’ve read in quite a while. My neurodivergence, extreme social anxiety, agoraphobia and depression make it very hard for me to do, though I want to, and I’ve been feeling like a useless member of society because of it. But then when I remember that as a single unemployed disabled woman in my 40’s, society already thinks I hold no value anyway.
Nonetheless, I have been beating myself up for not being a better activist, a better advocate. And honestly my depression is getting worse because of that self deprecation. I dared not say anything about this because I didn’t think anyone else was feeling this way - I really thought I was the only one stuck in that place.
Thank you so much for extending this. It needs to be spoken on.
You are absolutely not alone in how you feel, and I think it's very reasonable to be exhausted just by all the messaging. And it's okay. I think you have value just by being who you are and existing in the world. That is literally enough. I say so, which makes it real. So there.
Oh my god, my Sib. I have a recurring bathroom dream, filthy stalls without doors, and I've never met someone with a similar dream until now...
But this message of rest for rest's sake. It's such a fucking relief. I'm exhausted by the messaging, too. The constant pressure. Especially "Call your senators!" - which makes my blood boil, because our senators don't care and I'm not interested in wasting my precious energy on them. But I digress. Really, just thank you for this much needed reminder.
Funny side note... I contacted 3 of my Washington State congresspeople with regard to proposed legislation here. I didn't just oppose the bills, I added carefully written comments about why it was so important and why I care so much about access to gender affirming care. Marko Liias wrote back to me within 15 minutes (!!!) about how passionately he stands proudly with the trans community and how he will continue to fight for us. I was blown away. But I also think that's not a common response from a member of Congress, which makes me deeply sad.
That is AMAZING... I'd be blown away, too!! I'm really happy to hear that. And yeah, I think sadly that's pretty uncommon. Our state's congress members are performative puppets.
Keep believing that, and don't ask Dr Google why you're dreaming about gross bathrooms, cuz you don't want to know the official reason. And also I don't trust dream explanations anyway. My head, my rules.
I used to have a dream of dropping my packer on the floor of a men's room stall. Someone would say, "What the fuck is this?" I tried to hide in the corner of the stall, but... Before my ass got beat, I'd wake up. SMFH 🙄
Hahahahahaha. It was until I mustered up enough courage, looked at some men's bathroom etiquette things, and got over my fear of those places. They're still disgusting compared to most women's rooms I've been in. I avoid public bathrooms anyway, but can no longer get away with the ladies room. Not for the past 9 years.
I feel for you Robin with all of the crap going on, it is exhausting. Having to see that ugly fucking face every day and read about the fucked-up shit, he does is a real bummer. My only hope is that he will have to pay somehow for all the evil he does. My personal scenario is him in prison and being the bitch of the cell block.
I want someone to create a website I can go to each morning to check on whether *someone* is alive or dead. No news, no anxiety, just a yes or no. Then I can gauge how my day will go from there.
This is so relatable, Robin. I have found myself feeling exhausted and in bed a full hour earlier than my pre-Trump2 norm. Living as the target and feeling the pressure to stand for myself and others who are targets is a constant drain on the battery (among other things). Thank you for your words. 🏳️⚧️🩵🩷🤍
@transfriend - Robin, I'd like to send you a huge hug! And thank YOU🙏💖, because your post is one of many that I've seen that inspired me to write and create this youtube video https://youtu.be/ZQYYSjIc_yk and song for our community today. I've also written a post about the extra inspiration behind it, coming from my father, who passed away many years ago. I hope you don't mind me including the youtube link here; do feel free to delete it if you would prefer it not to be listed... I totally understand. Not trying to disrespect anybody's posts😎. ⭐🙏I know these are challenging times, and hard to avoid the impact it's having... at the same time....we can, though, absolutely try to find relief wherever we can. And I hope in some small way, this music with its lighter tone can help those who need it find a bit of light relief. Stay safe, everybody. Stay fabulous. and thank you to everybody who's doing what they are over there in the USA.
Thanks, Robin. No matter what... we are all standing together, no matter where in the world we are. Keep building your awesome work... focus on your creative pursuits, the stuff that brings you happiness, joy and bliss. And look after your mental health! Your energy is far more important for your creative things. Don't let them drain it. Keep doing you.⭐😎
It's kind of like analysis paralysis, Robin. Don't be too hard on yourself. I take breaks when I need to and I don't feel guilty for doing so. I know when I'm feeling like that, I have no choice but to step back, take a deep breath, get some perspective, then jump back in another day. This is not meant to be sustainable for long stretches of time. Only in bites.
You see, I have no choice. I can't opt-out because the color of my skin dictates way more than the trans issue of the day. This is not new to me, and we live in constant trauma & re-trauma. We're more conditioned to deal with this shit, but it is no less infuriating.
So again, relax and do what you need to do to get that fragility monkey off your back!
Listen, this might've caused more stress than I anticipated, but the day of the election, I turned off the TV and binge-watched the Handmaid's Tale. The entire 6 seasons. I was in so much shock, I could barely watch anything and knew the gloating of maggots would make me want to kill one of those MF's. 😂
Ray, I'm always so happy to see your smart responses. You really make me smile and chill the hell out. I've also watched all seasons of the handmaid's tale, and it's like a train wreck. Horrifying but I can't turn away.
I don't know if you've read any of Masha Gessen's writing, but I highly recommend anything by them. Surviving Autocracy was a great read right after the election in November.
I might, but I'm so far behind with books, I'll never catch up at this point. Got another one to read by Tamika Mallory. Must download it now. And you're welcome, man. LOL
Yes, that TV series was mind-blowing to me. I could NOT look away. After the first episode, I was hooked and bought all of them. 😂
I came across this a few days ago and I'm hoping to spread it around. An open letter in the NY Times signed by 233 mental health professionals with the following warning: "We have an ethical duty to warn the public that Trump is an existential threat to democracy. His symptoms of severe, untreatable personality disorder-malignant narcissism-makes him deceitful, destructive, deluded and dangerous. He is grossly unfit for leadership."
I appreciate these words as an activist and a fairly new writer to the scene. As a result of all these attacks, I am unwittingly throwing myself into the fire to make out the information as I truly believe that knowledge is power and if I can sift through the noise for everyone else's sake, I know I am doing it right.
Knowledge is absolutely power, and it's vital to hold onto our history and the truth of who we are. It's also damned exhausting to engage in this kind of work. I'm so proud of you for caring deeply the way you do, Rey.
Thanks Robin. There are days where it’s just too much, like everyday. I’ve started napping, not because I’m tired, but just to get a reprieve and because the weather sucks.
Robin, and every other person experiencing the same. I hear you.
And I want to acknowledge something that might not have fully landed yet: you’ve just been re-traumatized by a system you thought was at least somewhat stable, somewhat predictable, maybe even slightly favorable.
That is no small thing. To the contrary—it’s massive.
Especially for you trans and non-binary people, who are now facing not just erasure but the very real possibility of prosecution or worse if this continues unfolding.
This is immediate danger. And danger alone is enough to create stress, but re-traumatization? That adds a whole other layer.
So please, give yourself a break.
Take care of yourself first—your safety, your security, your psychological well-being.
This fight is not a sprint, and it’s certainly not one person’s burden to carry. You don’t owe anyone constant resistance. You don’t have to be the one grabbing the wheel every time the bus veers off the road.
You are here. You exist. That is already enough.
You cannot '"resist" well when you are in full stress- and trauma-mode. Take care of yourself first. Please.
Jay, you're correct. This is re-traumatizing, and that's a lot for each of us to bear even when we do it as a community. I'm thankful you're here, and I am so grateful for your friendship.
Robin, I hear you. Carrying this, even together, is still a weight. I’m grateful for you too—for your presence, your truth, and the way you show up. None of us should have to bear this, yet here we are. And I’m here with you.
I appreciate this post more than you know right now, Robin. Your list of all the things being shouted at us really landed with me. I know we can’t “do nothing” every day. But it’s like I told the non-profit managers I once supervised, as I looked at their exhausted faces one day, “some days it has to be enough just to have kept things running that day. We don’t have to innovate every day.”
You just existing as you right now isn't just enough, it's fucking amazing. You showing up here to say something to a friend is over the top.
🫶🏻
Hi Amy!
I have to second Robin's appreciation for your showing up here to voice your support. It means an immense amount to me to have you here. I know that your energy is limited. And yes, I agree that just your being here is more than just enough, it's amazing!
Shayne, I’m so touched. Thank you! 🙏🏻
This is the most important thing I’ve read in quite a while. My neurodivergence, extreme social anxiety, agoraphobia and depression make it very hard for me to do, though I want to, and I’ve been feeling like a useless member of society because of it. But then when I remember that as a single unemployed disabled woman in my 40’s, society already thinks I hold no value anyway.
Nonetheless, I have been beating myself up for not being a better activist, a better advocate. And honestly my depression is getting worse because of that self deprecation. I dared not say anything about this because I didn’t think anyone else was feeling this way - I really thought I was the only one stuck in that place.
Thank you so much for extending this. It needs to be spoken on.
You are absolutely not alone in how you feel, and I think it's very reasonable to be exhausted just by all the messaging. And it's okay. I think you have value just by being who you are and existing in the world. That is literally enough. I say so, which makes it real. So there.
I’ll take it! Thank you 🩷🩷🩷
Oh my god, my Sib. I have a recurring bathroom dream, filthy stalls without doors, and I've never met someone with a similar dream until now...
But this message of rest for rest's sake. It's such a fucking relief. I'm exhausted by the messaging, too. The constant pressure. Especially "Call your senators!" - which makes my blood boil, because our senators don't care and I'm not interested in wasting my precious energy on them. But I digress. Really, just thank you for this much needed reminder.
Funny side note... I contacted 3 of my Washington State congresspeople with regard to proposed legislation here. I didn't just oppose the bills, I added carefully written comments about why it was so important and why I care so much about access to gender affirming care. Marko Liias wrote back to me within 15 minutes (!!!) about how passionately he stands proudly with the trans community and how he will continue to fight for us. I was blown away. But I also think that's not a common response from a member of Congress, which makes me deeply sad.
That is AMAZING... I'd be blown away, too!! I'm really happy to hear that. And yeah, I think sadly that's pretty uncommon. Our state's congress members are performative puppets.
I’ve had this dream off and on for years. I’ve always assumed it was stress related.
Keep believing that, and don't ask Dr Google why you're dreaming about gross bathrooms, cuz you don't want to know the official reason. And also I don't trust dream explanations anyway. My head, my rules.
Lol. I’ll stick with my explanation.
I used to have a dream of dropping my packer on the floor of a men's room stall. Someone would say, "What the fuck is this?" I tried to hide in the corner of the stall, but... Before my ass got beat, I'd wake up. SMFH 🙄
Gah! That's terrifying!
Hahahahahaha. It was until I mustered up enough courage, looked at some men's bathroom etiquette things, and got over my fear of those places. They're still disgusting compared to most women's rooms I've been in. I avoid public bathrooms anyway, but can no longer get away with the ladies room. Not for the past 9 years.
Agreed, men's rooms are disgusting in comparison. I've gotten used to it now. And I'd definitely get attention if I tried using the women's room now.
I feel for you Robin with all of the crap going on, it is exhausting. Having to see that ugly fucking face every day and read about the fucked-up shit, he does is a real bummer. My only hope is that he will have to pay somehow for all the evil he does. My personal scenario is him in prison and being the bitch of the cell block.
I want someone to create a website I can go to each morning to check on whether *someone* is alive or dead. No news, no anxiety, just a yes or no. Then I can gauge how my day will go from there.
Sounds like an excellent idea to me.
Oh no, I almost said the exact same thing I said to you in one of my posts. Glad I looked up and saw your name. Bwaaaaahahaha 🤣
This is so relatable, Robin. I have found myself feeling exhausted and in bed a full hour earlier than my pre-Trump2 norm. Living as the target and feeling the pressure to stand for myself and others who are targets is a constant drain on the battery (among other things). Thank you for your words. 🏳️⚧️🩵🩷🤍
Don't forget to fill yourself back up with something that feels good. I recommend chocolate, a very fine whiskey, or a furry companion to pet.
@transfriend - Robin, I'd like to send you a huge hug! And thank YOU🙏💖, because your post is one of many that I've seen that inspired me to write and create this youtube video https://youtu.be/ZQYYSjIc_yk and song for our community today. I've also written a post about the extra inspiration behind it, coming from my father, who passed away many years ago. I hope you don't mind me including the youtube link here; do feel free to delete it if you would prefer it not to be listed... I totally understand. Not trying to disrespect anybody's posts😎. ⭐🙏I know these are challenging times, and hard to avoid the impact it's having... at the same time....we can, though, absolutely try to find relief wherever we can. And I hope in some small way, this music with its lighter tone can help those who need it find a bit of light relief. Stay safe, everybody. Stay fabulous. and thank you to everybody who's doing what they are over there in the USA.
What a sweet video! That was definitely what I needed this morning. Thanks, sibling.
Thanks, Robin. No matter what... we are all standing together, no matter where in the world we are. Keep building your awesome work... focus on your creative pursuits, the stuff that brings you happiness, joy and bliss. And look after your mental health! Your energy is far more important for your creative things. Don't let them drain it. Keep doing you.⭐😎
Sending love and rest x
Thank you, Jan. I'll take it!
“I am the target, but I am also the voice to speak up against the targeting. And if I don’t speak up, who will?”
I feel this everyday and waffle between the two, forgetting the innate strength in the overlap.
It's kind of like analysis paralysis, Robin. Don't be too hard on yourself. I take breaks when I need to and I don't feel guilty for doing so. I know when I'm feeling like that, I have no choice but to step back, take a deep breath, get some perspective, then jump back in another day. This is not meant to be sustainable for long stretches of time. Only in bites.
You see, I have no choice. I can't opt-out because the color of my skin dictates way more than the trans issue of the day. This is not new to me, and we live in constant trauma & re-trauma. We're more conditioned to deal with this shit, but it is no less infuriating.
So again, relax and do what you need to do to get that fragility monkey off your back!
Listen, this might've caused more stress than I anticipated, but the day of the election, I turned off the TV and binge-watched the Handmaid's Tale. The entire 6 seasons. I was in so much shock, I could barely watch anything and knew the gloating of maggots would make me want to kill one of those MF's. 😂
https://substack.com/home/post/p-157181921?source=queue
Ray, I'm always so happy to see your smart responses. You really make me smile and chill the hell out. I've also watched all seasons of the handmaid's tale, and it's like a train wreck. Horrifying but I can't turn away.
I don't know if you've read any of Masha Gessen's writing, but I highly recommend anything by them. Surviving Autocracy was a great read right after the election in November.
I might, but I'm so far behind with books, I'll never catch up at this point. Got another one to read by Tamika Mallory. Must download it now. And you're welcome, man. LOL
Yes, that TV series was mind-blowing to me. I could NOT look away. After the first episode, I was hooked and bought all of them. 😂
Right on! This is exactly how I feel right now. Rest and hopefully recovery are key to continuing the fight ✊🏻💜🔥
I came across this a few days ago and I'm hoping to spread it around. An open letter in the NY Times signed by 233 mental health professionals with the following warning: "We have an ethical duty to warn the public that Trump is an existential threat to democracy. His symptoms of severe, untreatable personality disorder-malignant narcissism-makes him deceitful, destructive, deluded and dangerous. He is grossly unfit for leadership."
Oh, that sounds like a good letter to circulate! I'm afraid it won't make a difference, but I also believe that we have to keep trying.
Yes Robin. I only saw it recently; it was originally published in October before the election.
I appreciate these words as an activist and a fairly new writer to the scene. As a result of all these attacks, I am unwittingly throwing myself into the fire to make out the information as I truly believe that knowledge is power and if I can sift through the noise for everyone else's sake, I know I am doing it right.
Knowledge is absolutely power, and it's vital to hold onto our history and the truth of who we are. It's also damned exhausting to engage in this kind of work. I'm so proud of you for caring deeply the way you do, Rey.
Love you and this so much. Thank you Robin. xoxo
Nan, you're so sweet. I love you too!
Thanks Robin. There are days where it’s just too much, like everyday. I’ve started napping, not because I’m tired, but just to get a reprieve and because the weather sucks.
The weather is pure shit. And naps are cool. I think you're doing great at this.