Hey friends. As we settle into 2024 and all its newness, many of us are seeing an unprecedented volume of anti-trans and anti-queer legislation across the United States. 2023 seemed like a rough start, too, but 2024 is already well ahead of that pace. This can be a frightening time for queer and trans individuals and families. TransFriend is a safe space to express those thoughts and fears. To keep it a safe space, I do not allow hateful comments. This is a space for kindness. I’m so glad you’re here with me.
Thank you for writing this. I am always beyond glad I found your newsletter and it’s clear it is written with so much love, and I hope you feel it reciprocated from your readers. Thank you for being here <3
I wish we lived in a world where trans and queer folx didn’t need allies; where your personhood and happiness was never in question or in need of defending. But the truth is, allies’ lives are made richer and fuller with our trans and queer friends and family in them, and so we need you as much if not more at times than you need us. Thank you nonetheless for a beautiful, honest post.
This is beautiful! Thanks for writing it. No marginalized groups can really survive without allies, whether we want to admit that or not. I do believe (to a certain degree) that the Social Justice commandment that marginalized people should not have to educate privileged people. That being said, "should" is the operative word here; as much as we "shouldn't" have to, the reality is that it is in our best interest - when and if we have the capacity - to educate allies, and accept that there will sometimes be misunderstandings, unintentional harm, etc., and that is part and parcel of the cross-positional collaboration that we need. I am thankful for all the effort that any ally is ingenuously willing to go to, even though it is sometimes problematic.
No one should be turned into an advocate without their consent. That's one of the reasons I write the things I do. I'm willing to do some of that work, to be open and vulnerable, to offer (modest) guidance, and to be a safe space to explore. Maybe someone else will be spared the emotional labor by my work. As for allies, I would not be here today without mine. I want them to know how much they mean to me.
Robin, I do have to say that I am glad to know you. Even though I can't walk in your shoes, it must be a real bummer to deal with the ignorance and hate. Some people have no empathy for others and fill their minds with prejudice. You are a good person and I wish you and your family only the best. Sending peace and love your way.
Agreed, this is a challenging time with a lot of conflicting messages out there. I highly encourage everyone to vote and have their voice heard. Knowing how the last few presidential elections have gone in this country, I'm not willing to risk GOP leadership, even though that requires voting for someone who is far from perfect. Tough choices all around.
Thank you for writing this. I am always beyond glad I found your newsletter and it’s clear it is written with so much love, and I hope you feel it reciprocated from your readers. Thank you for being here <3
Comments like yours remind me why I'm here.
I wish we lived in a world where trans and queer folx didn’t need allies; where your personhood and happiness was never in question or in need of defending. But the truth is, allies’ lives are made richer and fuller with our trans and queer friends and family in them, and so we need you as much if not more at times than you need us. Thank you nonetheless for a beautiful, honest post.
This is so beautifully put, Amy. Thank you.
This is beautiful! Thanks for writing it. No marginalized groups can really survive without allies, whether we want to admit that or not. I do believe (to a certain degree) that the Social Justice commandment that marginalized people should not have to educate privileged people. That being said, "should" is the operative word here; as much as we "shouldn't" have to, the reality is that it is in our best interest - when and if we have the capacity - to educate allies, and accept that there will sometimes be misunderstandings, unintentional harm, etc., and that is part and parcel of the cross-positional collaboration that we need. I am thankful for all the effort that any ally is ingenuously willing to go to, even though it is sometimes problematic.
No one should be turned into an advocate without their consent. That's one of the reasons I write the things I do. I'm willing to do some of that work, to be open and vulnerable, to offer (modest) guidance, and to be a safe space to explore. Maybe someone else will be spared the emotional labor by my work. As for allies, I would not be here today without mine. I want them to know how much they mean to me.
Robin, I do have to say that I am glad to know you. Even though I can't walk in your shoes, it must be a real bummer to deal with the ignorance and hate. Some people have no empathy for others and fill their minds with prejudice. You are a good person and I wish you and your family only the best. Sending peace and love your way.
Thank you, Charlotte! It's been so good getting to know you here. We're building that peace and love right here, and I couldn't do it without you.
Agreed, this is a challenging time with a lot of conflicting messages out there. I highly encourage everyone to vote and have their voice heard. Knowing how the last few presidential elections have gone in this country, I'm not willing to risk GOP leadership, even though that requires voting for someone who is far from perfect. Tough choices all around.