Pulse
Pride on the Page Day #19
Each of the mini-essays I’m publishing for the month of June are part of a creative challenge to share joy during Pride. You can find out more in the link below. You can even participate, if you’d like!
Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay
19. Pulse
It is still foreign to hear the right pronouns used for me. I forget, as though I have forgotten myself, as though the gendered part of me is thin and see-through, and so I am shaken awake nearly every time it happens. “Him,” I hear spoken, and I check around to see if it’s me they mean or someone else.
It’s not like hearing the wrong pronouns, that jolting, electric wrongness, a knowing sensation in the back of my neck that I am being called out, punished, erased, ignored.
In my quickening pulse between the words of strangers or friends or family or those I have not met, I am waiting. I am waiting to hear myself called, waiting to be recognized, waiting to see myself whole. Any day now it’ll feel like this is all there ever was.
Your trans friend,
Robin
It will happen, Robin. It's a wonderful feeling, too. I can no longer think of the times I was referred to as someone else. I don't even remember the last time it happened without being misgendered on purpose. That only happens with my family, and I can't even remember the last time. They've all been retrained by me or aren't a part of my life.
Being called the right way is a source of pride. It was me all along. Come ride with me, dude. That's what you really need is an outrageous hombre like me in your court. I'll take you to hang with me and my boys. If you're shy, oh well. You'll just have to feel embarrassed, because I found my voice and I'm keeping it!! 😛😂😆😂
Beautiful. Isn't it wonderful when people respect our reality? Love this. xo