My appliances are on strike
and I'm not going to interfere
In December the washing machine bit the dust. Delicate dust, to be precise. Never in my life had I used the delicate cycle, and this one time I thought it would be appropriate. I had no idea “delicates” was the trauma trigger for that machine to take a forever time out. Reluctantly, we went shopping for a replacement, sighed and shrugged at the cost, and made the order for a new model to get delivered.
Three weeks later the dryer gave the new washer the side-eye, and the belt started squeaking anytime we dried more than a single t-shirt in it. This lasted nearly three months, me in full denial, my wife quietly praying our dryer was “just going through a phase.” It was not a phase. By April we knew we needed to buy a new dryer, so we went shopping, sighed and shrugged at the cost, and made the order for a new model to get delivered.
Less than a month after that, the dishwasher started beeping. I know what you’re asking. I’m asking it too. Is there a goddamn terminator gene in these appliances? Is my Alexa device whispering to them after hours? Did they all google what a tariff is at some point? This time we did not sigh and shrug. We did not shoulder the cost. We did not make the order for a replacement. Why?
Terror. Sheer terror.
Listen there’s a fridge, a dual fuel stove, and a microwave in that kitchen all waiting to see exactly what our next move is, and a general strike is most certainly on the table for all of them.
No matter how many jobs I have worked, promotions I’ve struggled to receive, or labor union contracts we sign, I—like just about everyone else around here—am still just one dryer sheet beyond living paycheck to paycheck. We make ends meet, and we take care of our obligations, but it ain’t easy for us or for anybody we know. Really, go take a look at what appliances cost, just in case you haven’t been looking at them lately.
In the meantime, I’ve been washing dishes by hand. I wash them after breakfast. Those get put away while I’m making lunch. Then I wash my lunch dishes. Those get put away when the kids get home from school. Then someone (hopefully not me) washes the dinner dishes. The dishwasher door is shut. I’m not looking at it. I am most certainly not making eye contact with the other appliances. Negotiations are currently closed. And it feels downright radical to wash dishes by hand all the time, to insist that my kids learn how to do this, too.
“Oh Papi, but how do we wash the sharp knives?” they asked me.
“With soap and hot water,” I answered.
“When do you want to look at a replacement?” my wife said quietly, well out of earshot of the kitchen appliances.
I sighed and shrugged. “Not yet. Let’s just… get through a week or two.”
But as those days went by, a few small things began to change around the house.
The kids sucked at their new chore. We had to divide up the week to spread out the responsibility for them. This is a new skill to learn, and nobody wants a shouting match over that wet knife we mentioned earlier. By the end of the first week our oldest son had figured out that he should probably help dry some dishes while his brother was washing. It made for more space to let the other stuff drip dry. Hm. Interesting.
Usually unloading the dishwasher in the morning was a beastly task to get done while everyone else was asleep. Don’t drop anything, no clanging of pots and pans and lids, careful with the glassware. Now there might only be a couple of things left to dry in the sink overnight. No massive undertaking to put every dish in the house away. My mornings were simpler, less rushed.
My wife and I started jumping up to wash things before the other one could get to the sink. Like it was a competition or something. And… I don’t really know why. The loser dries dishes anyway. But instead of sitting on the couch with our phones in hand, ignoring each other, doom scrolling, there we were, washing and drying and chatting about the day or work or the kids or the dog. We had regained some time together in the midst of messy life.
And almost immediately, I felt a bit like I do on vacations. Yes, even camping trips. Whether we’re hanging out around trees or in a little rental house beside the ocean, we almost always end up washing all the dishes by hand. It’s a hallmark of our family vacations.
The biggest win has been the feeling of closure. I didn’t realize how much that damn dishwasher weighed on my mind until it was gone from the picture. Now I know the dishes are clean and drying or already put away for the night. I go to bed untroubled.
We will eventually need to buy a new dishwasher. I’m not really that analog (which is to say I totally am, I just don’t want you to judge me). But maybe not for another week or two? Maybe we can just wash and dry over the summer. Maybe there is some kind of peace we can find in doing this simple act each day, several times, the repetition itself a quiet meditation in being present. Maybe there are some things we can live without that actually give us something valuable back.
Your trans friend,
Robin
PS – Can you believe it’s almost June? And that means Pride is right around the corner! For the month of June, in celebration of perhaps the most important Pride I’ve ever been part of, I’ll be joining
’s Pride on the Page Creative Challenge, and I encourage you to play along with us! Each day for Pride month I’ll be posting something short. This isn’t meant to be taxing or exhausting, just creative, chill, and joyful. You can find out more here.PPS – Did you know
over at is also celebrating Pride month with a shitload of cool content? No?? What the hell have you been doing then?! That’s okay, I’ll get you back up to speed as things happen. Or you could subscribe to Qstack to find out for yourself!
PPPS – (Do I know how this “postscript” thing works? No, no I do not.) GenderWild Press is about to like officially, completely, totally, irreversibly come out for Pride month. I’ll be launching a real goddamn website and everything, and I don’t want you to miss it. If you’re already subscribed, you’ll see more from me about this in a few days. If you’re not, why not tag along now?
PPPPS – Um… I have to go wash dishes again. Anybody wanna come dry?
You really must report back what happens when you do finally break down and get the new washer, whether the other appliances take note... Thank you so much for the mention of Qstack's Big Pride Extravaganza, Robin xo
I’m sorry for the expense for you and your family, but your writing style is so lively that I truly enjoyed every minute! Fingers crossed you don’t have any more strikers!